I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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