i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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