I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
