I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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