I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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