We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
