Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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