we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
