i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
