if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize