I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize