I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
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