I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
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Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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