How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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