so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
