i think my mom watched the whole time
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
