I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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