dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
