absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
