I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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