i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
