On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
