I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
