I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
