My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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