we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
