So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
