Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
