I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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