While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
