i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
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Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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