If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
