Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize