Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
