To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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