If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize