i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
