PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
