Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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