no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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