For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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