just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
