Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
