I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
