just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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