um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
