Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
