I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
