my phone needs a breathalizer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
