Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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