PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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