my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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