i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
