Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
