Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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