OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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