I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
