Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
