Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
