Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
