Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
FUCK WHALES
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