Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
